Author: Sandra Herner March 12, 2018

It seemed simple enough: find a self-publishing service that fits my budget and needs. With dozens of publishing services to choose from, how hard can this be? Since I am writing a book ABOUT publishing, this is both research and a service I need myself.

But after days of frustration and confusion and uncovering downright scams, I took a break and went off with my husband for an early lunch. (Food solves most things, in my opinion.) Just the lunch special at my favorite Chinese restaurant, then we’d top it off with a Shamrock shake at McDonald’s. Those minty shakes are yearly, limited-time-only treats, and I’d checked the McD app and they were serving them now. Yah!

Oops #1:

However, the Chinese restaurant was closed. Disappointing but no big deal.

Oops #2:

We headed for a local diner with a nostalgic 50’s theme for a quick bite. I didn’t realize nostalgia comes with such a hefty price tag—I didn’t want to pay dinner prices for a light lunch. No thank you.

Oops #3:

A bit disgruntled, we headed to IHOP instead. Not my favorite place, but, hey, a national chain is surely open, and the prices were right. I spied at least 5 empty tables from where we, and two other couples, were waiting to be seated. And we waited. The manager, on this third whisk past us, finally said he’d be with us “soon” and we should know it would be a 20-minute wait for food.

“What?” I stopped him.

“Twenty minutes.”

“Why?”

“Because we are full!”

I stared at the empty tables, looked at the other couples waiting and we left. All of us.

By now, I’m hungry, okay? And pretty teed off.

Oops #4:

Fine. We were going to McDonald’s for a Shamrock shake anyway, so we’d just get a couple of burgers (really not my favorite!) while there.  Forestalling any trouble this time, I immediately checked the menu board when we arrived and an image of a green and frothy shake greeted me with a “Fresh and Minty, Order today!” sign.

So I waited in line (it is high noon by now) only to be told by the perky cashier, “Sorry, but we don’t have the parts in for that yet.”

Before I could go ballistic about those mysterious “parts” that are missing, smart hubby pulled me from the counter and out the door.

Surprise #1:

Across the parking lot at a local Mexican restaurant, I got the surprise of the day: We were greeted at the door, invited to take a seat. Promptly given menus, water, chips, and salsa. Our order was taken soon after and, when they didn’t have exactly what we wanted, a suitable alternative was suggested.

The food was good, the price reasonable and I thought:

“This lunch experience is just like self-publishing services.”

#1: Where Did They Go?

During the period between deciding to write a book, actually getting it written, and then looking for publishers, the publishing landscape changed dramatically. Remember the service called the Pronoun? It was an offshoot of Macmillan whose motto was “smarter book publishing, leveling the playing field for indie authors.” And, hey, backed by Macmillan, you know its stable, right? Only not so much. January, 2018 they put up their “closed for business” sign.

Amazon is closing down Createspace as I write this (to be replaced by Kindle Print, if the rumors are right). The movers and shakers in publishing keep moving and shaking, merging and morphing.

#2: You Want How Much?

Friendly smiles and comfy surroundings are nice but when did self-publishing services think they can fleece writers by their wooing tactics? Oh, wait a minute, some of them always thought that. They were called vanity presses back then but today use nifty new names, like “boutique publishing” and “co-creation experts.”

But, in today’s world, a writer could pay nothing, like “zero,” to publish their own book. So just what DO you get with that basic burger that makes it priced like a filet mignon? There isn’t enough secret sauce to their menu items to warrant their prices in my book.

#3: So You Don’t Really Want My Business, Right?

Going with the “big boys” of publishing sounds impressive. Who doesn’t want to be seen as published by the largest book distributor in the world? But I found negotiating through the “onboarding” process (as they call opening an account) to even find out the royalty rates, extra fees, and time frames were problematic.

If they are that secretive or difficult to negotiate with this early on, what about later? Do I really need to be one more “waiting to be seated” in a big company’s waiting room?

#4: But You Promised!

Even the flashiest website promos luring would-be authors with the benefits of going with their service doesn’t make it true. Okay, maybe the company intended to have a mint shake on hand when you contacted them, but they don’t really have the parts in yet. Or quit serving up that item.

Before you contract with any self-publishing service, do your homework. Talk to people who have used them. What was their experience? What did they actually get (versus were promised). And would they use them again?

#5: What Am I Supposed to Do Now?

Confusion and angst are the calling cards of getting published, whether you talk about the traditional path or self-publishing. However, hidden among these options there is one exactly right for you. You can spend time researching each method for yourself, but if you are a bit on the hungry side and want to see everything laid out for you all in one place, I have a suggestion for you:

Remember that book I mentioned I’m writing? It is all about publishing options and it is NOT slanted to one venue or service because I respect that everyone’s needs and preferences (not to mention budget) are different. So if you are interested, for a limited time, I’ll send you a FREE a copy of my “How to Publish Your Novel or Series” and you can see the full menu I found of publishing choices available. I cover everything from traditional publishing through self-publishing and hybrid options as well.

The catch?

There really isn’t one. I’m preparing a list of writers interested in a free preliminary copy (Advanced Review Copy or ARCs) of my book. Sure, I’d love you to write a review of it later, when I launch the book, but you don’t need to. So if you want to know what publishing options are open to you, avoid the “closed for business” signs, sidestep the too pricey, ignore the too-big-to-care, and recognize scam services, just ask for a copy.

Click this link and I’ll put you on my list. I will send you a copy just as soon as it is ready!

Postscript:

In case you wondered, that lunch fiasco I described was totally true! I followed up with online reports to both IHOP and McDonald’s. Both sent generic “thanks for telling us” notes in return. The local manager of McDonald’s also got in the loop and explained the missing part was, in fact, a part of their shake machine that allows extra flavors to disburse. Who knew! Too bad neither sent a free coupon for, well, for anything! Frankly, that would have helped.

So I’m making up for their oversight by offering YOU a free book BEFORE you are disappointed in anything the publishing world might serve to you.